The Statement

Monday, April 21, 2014

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Personal Statement: 3 a.m., welcome week.

By Jon Horford, LSA Senior
Published October 3, 2013

Drowsy and sober leaned back in a chair in the middle of the night, watching three couples engage in the college version of a mating ritual. One couple is sitting on the couch to my left, talking about nothing in order to put a respectable amount of time in between meeting and making the “beast with two backs.” Another couple is up by the counter, which doubles as a bar for the night. The male is courting his female friend with the I-bet-you-can’t-drink-more-than-I-can game, which ultimately is supposed to make her more likely to shed her clothes. The girl that makes up one half of the final couple is the type that takes it upon herself to not seem like other girls, which leads her to think that talking about sports will make guys want to sleep with her. I had seen myself in some form of each situation before, and observing those three couples made me question, for the thousandth time that week, why we act the way we do.

I understand that I don’t really understand. It’s easy to act like making it to a certain age, attaining certain degrees or getting a highly thought of career will grant you access to the knowledge that will allow you to be content with yourself. Searching for an epiphany in a dimly lit Rick’s that will let you take your mind off of whatever it is you were raised to think your mind should be focused on. A few more shots of shitty tasting liquid should help but if you really want to test your tolerance for certain situations, throw your sober self at the nearest bar around 1:30 a.m. and observe what a sense of “community” has become. Not that I don’t partake in said activities on a weekly basis, but somewhere between a group of 10 good friends texting silently in a living room pregame and conversations starting only after your breath becomes flammable, I have to draw the line.

How many times has your pride stopped you from doing what you want because you didn’t want to feel weak or stupid? You had to maintain this image of yourself that you thought other people would be willing to accept because ultimately, what’s worse in life than being alone and feeling like you don’t belong? You could have every treasure the world can offer but if you could only use those treasures for yourself, what worth would they truly have? The bottom line is that everyone wants to be loved in some way. This might sound lazy, but let’s get comfortable with the idea of being kind to everyone — become accepting of our situations and sympathetic to those who don’t know any better, ourselves included. We need to base the decisions we make on how thoughts of such things resonate with our spirits and not off of the judgment of people who in most cases don’t give a fuck anyway.

Let’s come to an understanding that we are all connected, and despite what we are taught, we don’t have to see everyone as competition or a threat to what we consider success; as if a degree and a job that a majority of people see as important is what truly makes someone “valuable” as a human being. Less competition and more compassion; less judgment and more understanding. Maybe we should sacrifice the popularity contest in order to gain inner peace, or possibly discover that both can be attained if you have your thoughts and beliefs at a certain frequency. I’m not here to tell you what is best or what you should do; do what feels right to you and understand that not knowing and not being sure is the way it is and will be for everyone. Our journeys are different so don’t base yours off of comparisons to others. Begin to enjoy everything that happens to you.