The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lauren there?

Random: Yes.

TMD: Hey, what’s up? I’m calling from The Michigan
Daily and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random
Student Interview.

R: Sweet!

TMD: Yeah, do you got a few minutes?

R: Sure.

TMD: All right, first off: How was your fall break?

R: It was fabulous.

TMD: What did you do?

R: Just hung out with my family and went shopping and ate a lot
of food.

TMD: Did you make any of the food that you ate?

R: Yes, I did.

TMD: Did you bake a pie?

R: No, I made a cake actually. Chocolate chip.

TMD: Ooohh.

R: It was very good.

TMD: Did you go on any haunted hayrides or haunted houses or
stuff like that?

R: No, I didn’t.

TMD: Some of them are pretty scary. I don’t go on them
because I’m afraid of …tractors.

R: Hahaha, you’re afraid of tractors?

TMD: Yeah, little fear. First question: Who’s scarier:
Mini-Me or the Oompa-Loompas?

R: The Oompa-Loompas.

TMD: Because of that song?

R: Yeah, I think it’s maybe the orange face and the green
hair … I don’t know … I’ve always been a
little bit scared of them.

TMD: Yeah, they should show that instead of
“Halloween” or “Friday the 13.” Just show
the Oompa-Loompas and I wouldn’t sleep at night.

R: Hahaha.

TMD: Next question. Who’s the better captain: Captain
Crunch or Captain Morgan?

R: Um … Captain Morgan. I really don’t like Captain
Crunch.

TMD: What’s your favorite kind of cereal.

R: I’m a big fan of Special K.

TMD: Special K?!? That’s like the blandest cereal you can
buy!

R: Haha, I like it! It’s good.

TMD: So why not Total?

R: I don’t think I’ve ever tried Total.

TMD: You should try. It’s got all those vitamins and
nutrients and stuff.

R: Maybe the next time I do some grocery shopping, I’ll
pick up some Total.

TMD: And then you’ll think of me?

R: Yep.

TMD: Aww, you’re too kind. Have you ever seen that show
“Pimp My Ride” on MTV?

R: I have.

TMD: Now if Xzibit knocked on your door, would you freak out and
be like “OH MY GOD!” and then hug him and knock him
down and stuff?

R: No, I don’t think I would jump on Xzibit and hug him. I
would be happy, but I wouldn’t freak out.

TMD: Are you scared of Xzibit?

R: Maybe a little. I’m afraid of a lot of things.

TMD: Do you have a car that’s bad enough to be on
“Pimp My Ride?”

R: I have a ’94 Geo, so I think yes, I do.

TMD: Do you think they’d be able to pimp that out?

R: They could try. I’d like to see that.

TMD: Do you think there would be room for a Jacuzzi in the
back?

R: Maybe if they expanded it a little bit, maybe.

TMD: Just a little bit. Are you excited for Halloween?

R: I’m very excited.

TMD: Do you have a costume picked out yet?

R: Nope, I haven’t decided yet.

TMD: Last year, I wasn’t going to dress up, but I ended up
dressing up as a woman.

R: Really?

TMD: Yeah, it was uh … quite exciting to see.

R: I’m glad it worked out for you.

TMD: Oh yeah, it was great. So no ideas yet?

R: Um, no not yet.

TMD: You’re not going to go with the generic Scream
costume, are you?

R: Oh no no no.

TMD: What about Jessica Simpson?

R: Hmmm … I don’t know if I could pull that
off.

TMD: What about Ashley Simpson? That could be easier.

R: Maybe.

TMD: Do you do pranks on people for Halloween?

R: No, not usually.

TMD: Has anyone ever pranked you?

R: Not for Halloween. For April Fool’s Day, a couple of my
friends told everyone they hooked up and freaked us out and we
thought they were going out. It was all a big joke.

TMD: Wow, that sounds pretty scary.

R: Yeah.

TMD: Do you still go around and collect candy from people?

R: No, not anymore.

TMD: Didn’t you used to hate those people who gave away
pennies instead of candy?

R: I never got pennies. I used to get apples and health food and
stuff.

TMD: I got pennies every year. It was real depressing to come
home and find out I got 17 cents.

R: So not worth the time.

TMD: Exactly. What’s the better name for an alcoholic
drink: A Suck Me Beautiful or a Screaming Orgasm?

R: I’d go with the Screaming Orgasm.